“Just a minute, Mrs Upjohn. That looks like a horse pill to me.”
“Oh, you've taken them before.”
“Are you sure, Doctor, you haven't made a mistake?”
“You have nothing to worry about. The last patient I gave one of those to won the Kentucky Derby.”
“May I examine this, please? Do you actually give those to your patients? Isn't it awfully large for a pill?”
“Well, it was too small for a basketball, and I didn't know what to do with it. Say, you're awfully large for a pill yourself.”I refuse to join any club who'd have me as a member.
behind every successful man is a woman. behind her is his wife.
marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
the secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. if you can fake that you've got it made.
groucho was one of a kind.
WEEK 13 – RIVALRY WEEKNOTE EARLY GAMES
THURSDAY1. (7-4)
MISSISSIPPI STATE AT #20 MISSISSIPPI (8-3) -2.5.
winafter starting the season 7-0 the rebels are reeling, losing 3 of 4 and the only win was barely beating bad a&m. ole miss is 1-6 ats as sec chalk of 7/less, 1-5 ats in final home games. bulldogs are 6-1 ats as a visitor in this series (visiting team has covered 7 straight), 8-0 ats w/double revenge, 4-1 ats of late as a dog of 8/less. mississippi has a huge edge in the run game, but I'll stick with the majority of trends. mississippi state.
FRIDAY2. #24
NORTH CAROLINA STATE (7-4) AT #18 NORTH CAROLINA (9-2) -6.5.
wintar heels come in off a shocking loss to ga tech, while state has been sinking since losing leary at qb in october. unc has covered 4 straight in the series, but still has revenge after the wofpack came from behind to win 34-30 a year ago. nc state is 2-9 ats as acc road dogs of 8/less, but they were missing 6 starters in last week's loss at louisville and many should be back for this one. north carolina st.
3. #17 UCLA (8-3) AT
CAL (4-7) +10.5.
winbruins enter off an entertaining (for most of us watching) but devastating (for their post season/pac 12 title hopes) loss to usc. now they take on a cal team who sees this series as a much bigger rivalry than ucla does. bruins are 8-2 ats as road chalk of 4+ lately, but just 1-6 ats after playing the trojans, and the bears are 5-0 ats w/double revenge, 11-3 ats as home dogs of 11/less. plus the home team in this series is 15-6-1 the last 22 meetings. california.
4.
FLORIDA (6-5) AT #16 FLORIDA STATE (8-3) -9.5.
winnoles are on a 4 game win streak. gators are still trying to figure out how they outgained vandy 445-283 yet still lost 31-24 thanks to turnovers and untimely penalties. uf is 8-2 ats of late in the series, fsu is 1-8 ats as home favorites of 10/less. florida.
5. #19
TULANE (9-2) AT #21 CINCINNATI (9-2) -2.5.
winwinner goes to the aac title game. uc is used to these stakes lately but it's new to the green wave. both have had great years. bearcats have won 32 straight home games, while tulane is 0-61 vs ranked opponents since '84. but... cincy is just 2-6 ats as league home chalk of 8/less, 1-5-1 ats vs revenge this season. tulane has covered their last 6 road games. make it 7.
SATURDAY6. #3 MICHIGAN (11-0) AT #2
OHIO STATE (11-0) -7.5
big ugly lossto say central ohio has been abuzz about saturday would be a gross understatement. it's not like the buckeyes haven't had revenge in the rivalry before (just seems like it the last decade-ha) but to me it feels like 1970, the year after bo's arrival in ann arbor and upsetting woody's great '69 team 24-12 (bucks had 7 turnovers). tosu won the rematch 20-9. these 2 programs have met as top 5 teams 12 times, more than any other cfb series. u
m has never won one of those games in columbus. ton of ?? w/top rb's for both teams dinged up and likely to either miss or be much less than 100% for the game. the bucks have experience handling that hurdle this season, the wolverines not so much. puts a lot more pressure on harbaugh's defense-who can handle it.. it's really good-and their pass game, which so far in '22 remains unproven. forecast is dry and mid 50's. nice. as for the trends... harbaugh as a head coach is 1-11 su/2-10 ats as an underdog vs undefeated foes. the last 16 time tosu played w/big 10 revenge, its 13-3 ats. the .5 is a sign vegas is begging the betting public to buy the ugly hats, and they are. I'm not. ohio state.
7.
SOUTH CAROLINA (7-4) AT #7 CLEMSON (10-1) -14.5.
winoff their huge upset win over tennessee, the gamecocks now take on in-state rival clemson, a team they haven't beaten since '13, not having even scored a td vs the tigers since '18. what are their chances? well, the home team in this series is 0-4 ats of late. usc-east is 5-1 ats getting 14+ pts on the road. the road dog in this series is 8-0 ats when getting 13+. here's a cfb nerd stat; since 2000, road dogs off an upset win as +20/more are 10-2 ats in their next game w/revenge. hm. and the 6 clemson wins in '22 vs .500+ opponents? an average score of 32-28. hm. cu's run game/defense are still stout, but not 2 td's stout imho. south carolina.
8.
GEORGIA TECH AT #1 GEORGIA (11-0) -36.5.
winlast week tech came from 17-0 down to knock out unc from the cfp, 21-17. tougher climb next w/uga, who looked pretty pedestrian in a 16-6 win over uk. in kirby smart's 1st season (2016) the yellow jackets shocked the dawgs 28-27. the next 4 games? georgia, by a combined score of 180-35, covering all 4 games too. they're also 5-1 ats vs .400/less opponents, and 5-2 ats as -28+ ooc chalk. but the home team in this series is just 3-19-1 ats the last 23 games, and the bulldogs want to be healthy for next week's sec ccg vs lsu. I think they coast but leave the back door open... georgia tech.
9.
LOUISVILLE (7-4) AT KENTUCKY (6-5) -3.5.
losswildcats have won/covered 3 straight in this series and the last 5 times these two have met uk has 335/game rushing. but this year the 'cats are averaging just 117 on the ground, and the home team in the commonwealth cup is just 2-10-1 ats the last 13 matchups. cardinals have won 5 of their last 6 games, behind an improved run game and defense. kentucky's qb will levis is banged up after being sacked 41 times so far this season, not good when the cards' d has 39 sacks so far. the team who's played the best down the stretch is getting points here, and I'll gladly take them.
10. WAKE FOREST (7-4) AT
DUKE (7-4) +3.5.
winwake has won the last 3 over the dukies by an averaged of 34 pts/game but duke is 5-0 ats at home this season. blue devils.
11.
AUBURN (5-6) AT #8 ALABAMA (9-2) -22.5.
winwith the sec ccg out of reach and the cfp a long shot at this point, I'm wondering about motivation for the tide in this year's iron bowl. imho bryce young's had a better '22 than he did winning the heisman last year, since he's had so much less support from the rest of his offense. a war eagle upset means not just bragging rights but bowl eligibility under interim head coach cadillac williams. alabama is 10-4 su/8-6 ats vs auburn of late, and the home team in this series has covered 9 of the last 10. I do like how the tigers have rediscovered running the ball lately. auburn hangs around.
12. #10 OREGON (9-2) AT #22
OREGON STATE (8-3) +3.5.
winthe first line on this game was uo -7. it's now down to -3.5 and w/good reason, w/the beavers on a 5-1 su/ats run since mid-october. the civil war is cfb's 5th longest running rivalry starting in 1894. ducks are 12-2 su/8-6 ats in this series of late, but the last 7 years the home team has won 6 of the last 7 su. plus osu-west has won/covered their last 11 games at reser stadium. they're also 6-0 su/ats the last 6 times in a revenge game vs an opponent. oregon state.
13. #5
TENNESSEE (9-2) AT VANDERBILT (5-6) +13.5.
winthat vols loss in columbia last week was maybe the most surprising result of the season so far. they also lost qb hendon hooker for the season, which stinks. he was having an incredible year, and with him and the cfp out of reach, does vandy have their full attention? here's another home dog who's playing for bowl qualification, and their upset wins the last 2 weeks over uf and uk made the commodores only the 5th school since '80 to accomplish such a feat as +14/more dogs in each game. but in those wins they were outgained by kentucky by 264 yds, and 162 by uf... tough to keep winning w/those kind of numbers. tennessee still needs this game for a new year's 6 bowl date plus they're 6-1 su/ats off a loss. b-o-w-o
14. #13
NOTRE DAME (8-3) AT #7 USC (10-1) -4.5.
lossplenty schools in the cfp top 10 have been humming 'wake up the echoes' this week. an irish win could both shut the door on usc making the playoffs but keep the door open for half a dozen others. tough spot for the trojans taking on nd after beating ucla 48-45 a week ago. home team in this series is 7-1 ats of late, but usc is just 5-10 ats as home chalk the last 2 seasons, while the irish are 8-1 ats away from south bend. they also have the much better defense here. notre dame.
15. KANSAS (6-5) AT #15
KANSAS STATE (8-3) -11.5.
winku was 5-0 by early october. cool. since then they've dropped 5 of 6 after losing their starting qb. not so cool. ksu win here gets them in the big 12 ccg. wildcats are on a 13-0 su/10-3 ats in this series, winning the last 3 by 31/game. jayhawks are giving up 329/game rushing the last month. kansas state.
BONUS GAME16. #17 WASHINGTON (9-2) AT
WASHINGTON STATE (7-4) +2.5
lossuw enters on a 5 game win streak; wsu on a 3 game win streak. huskies looking for revenge after the cougars won 40-13 a year ago. washington is 9-3 ats in the series, but state is 9-0 ats at home the last 2 seasons, and the huskies have not been as solid on the road as they have in seattle,. washington state.
my bonus game; Iowa state +10 at tcu.
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