Post by trnyerheadncough on Sept 24, 2014 15:47:38 GMT -5
if I were pissing on one. Lunch?"
"I think it's a little late in the season."
"For lunch?"
"No, pissing on birds."
Alright sports fans....here it is, Wednesday afternoon, and I have worked, and I've slaved, and what thanks do I get!?!?! Here's the list....do your worst. Please. I need to catch up.
Thursday Night Games:
UCLA -5 ½ at Arizona State: A tale of two injured quarterbacks as it is questionable as to the health of both signal callers for this Thursday night blockbuster. It looks like Hundley has been upgraded to probable, but Taylor Kelly is listed as out. Obviously, that seems to seriously hurt the debbils as Kelly was 42 for 68 for 625 yards and 6 touchdowns so far this year. 0 picks. The Sun Devils do boast a decent rushing attack, 11th in the nation averaging over 300 yards a game. UCLA has been good, not great against the run.
On the other side, UCLA is thanking the football gods for their 20-17 escape from Texas a little over a week ago. Getting Hundley back will be huge for them.
An interesting side note…Arizona State’s next 6 games are UCLA, at USC, Stanford, at Washington, Utah, and Notre Dame. Yeesh. Bruins too much for the Devils without Kelly.
Texas Tech +13 ½ at Oklahoma State: The last time we saw Texas Tech, they were quietly surrendering over 400 rushing yards while being paddled by the Razorbacks. As I noted in my statement regarding that game, the Red Raiders are susceptible to the run, and…well, they were. Now they go and visit the Cowboys, who are 2-1 and ranked with their only defeat coming in a spirited game with Florida State. Walsh is out for the Cowboys, which hurts. But they beat the hell out of UTSA, which is a decent football team. The backup, Daxx Garman, was 16-30 for 315 and 2 touchdowns. The Pokes even ran for 162.
I just think the Raiders are no better than mediocre and Oklahoma State is a solid team. Tyreke Hill is a speedy stud, and Oklahoma State is at home. The ½ point is enough to sell me. Cowboys.
Saturday Games:
Missouri +6 at South Carolina: Well, Indiana pretty much took a great big dump all over this game, but luckily for the Tigers, this week’s slate is so extraordinarily weak as to render it appropriately on the list. Let’s be honest, the SEC East is now barely hanging on by its fingernails to the quality in the west to be able to participate in that whole circle-jerk-SEC-we’re-the-greatest-thing-since-sliced-bread deal. Missouri surrendered a staggering 493 yards of offense to Indiana. And it isn’t even like the Hoosiers threw it all over Columbia. They ran for 241 and passed for 252! It seems like it is pretty rare when an underdog can come into your house and simply run a balanced offense and kick your butt up and down the field. I don’t know, maybe the Tigers were looking ahead to this game.
And then there’s South Carolina, who fell behind 14-0 to Vandy before coming back to win 48-34. But a look through those numbers show that Vandy had not 1, but 2 kickoffs returned for touchdowns, and their final touchdown was thrown by the backup in the waning seconds.
Going to Wallace-Brice, and given the wheelbarrow full of yards they gave up last week…I think Carolina is ready to play and is improving each week. Gamecocks.
Arkansas +9 ½ at Texas A&M: Well lads and ladies, after doing the first three games last evening and just getting back to the office now, I’m running up too close to the deadline to be to wordy about all of this…so you’ll just have to deal with it.
I’ve gone back and forth on this game, which is actually at a neutral site, I think. Yeah, we know A&M’s offense is legit, and they’re scoring a truckload against everyone. But, at the same time, Arkansas might give them trouble on the defensive side. Sometimes, the best defense to a great offense is to keep their asses on the sidelines. Arkansas has the ability to do that. They pound the ball, run the clock, control the game. But at the same time, I still look back to the Carolina game and think A&M is too good. I think Arkansas keeps it respectable…the half point makes the difference here. Aggies.
Minnesota +11 1/2 at Michigan: I put this game up there because Michigan is teetering on the brink of complete disaster. They are 2-2, and it boils down to this…the two teams with a pulse they’ve played, they’ve gotten the shit beaten out of them. The two teams without a pulse…easy wins. Where does Minnesota fall? Truth is, I ain’t sure. The only team with a pulse they’ve played, they got run out of the stadium against TCU. Granted, 5 turnovers didn’t help, and I like to think that the Gophers are good enough on offense to cover. Minnehaha.
Colorado +13 ½ at California: Every year, we have a team that completes a Hail Mary to win the game. This happened to Cal last weekend, only they were on the wrong end of one as Arizona scored 36 points in the final quarter to win the freakin’ game. How demoralizing is that? Now they have to try to regroup and put it together against a Colorado squad that has half as many wins so far this year as they did all of last year, and looks to be improved, especially on offense. Cal’s defense is…well….Cal’s defense. Number 94 so far this year, number 124 last year, number 95 the year before that. I’d take the over, which is at 67, except we aren’t playing that game. I guess it boils down to who plays better defense, and I’m going to guess the Bears at home to bounce back.
Oregon State +9 at USC: The Beavers are 3-0 so far this year after playing basically no one, but finds their first real test in the Coliseum against the rubbers of Southern Cal. The Trojans have had a week to stew over the Boston College debacle, and now they face Sean Mannion and that Beaver attack. One stat that can’t be overlooked….the Trojans surrendered a whopping 452 yards to Boston College…on the ground! The downside is that ain’t what the Beavers do. Ranking 91st in rushing offense, they live and die by the arm of Mannion. You really can’t get a sense of how good USC is defending the pass, as the teams they played have been either overmatched (Fresno State), or primarily running teams (Stanford, BC). You gotta think though with 2 weeks to prepare and ready to make statement against Oregon State that they aren’t out of this thing yet. I’ll take the Trojans and give up the 9.
North Carolina +14 at Clemson: This game might ordinarily get shitcanned due to how bad both of these teams played last weekend, but it is for that very reason that they’re up on the list. North Carolina surrendered 70 points (yes…7-0, seventy….one more than 69) in a loss to East Carolina. Just a smidge under 800 yards too. And the Tar Heels had eyes on a coastal championship this year and were allegedly improved. Clemson pulled a Clemson in leaving a handful of points on the field and lost a game they probably should have won against Florida State. The silver lining for Clemson is that even though they’re 1-2, there aren’t too many obstacles preventing them from being 9-2 going into their game against the Gamecocks in late November (a road trip to Chestnut Hill looks more daunting now though). Add to that the fact that Deshaun Watson is the main guy now, and he looked very poised in a tough environment. I think Clemson bounced back here and runs away from North Carolina…who is reeling. They rally behind the new quarterback and get it done. Clemson.
Tennessee +17 at Georgia: Betwixt the hedges, the Volunteers are looking for a win to go 3-1 and win their SEC opener for the first time since 2004. That is a very long stretch. The Vols didn’t play particularly badly against Oklahoma, but still didn’t have the horses to compete, and lost by 24 after being 20 point dogs. Now they’re playing Georgia, and they’re 17 point dogs. I don’t expect Tennessee to win this game…but Tennessee has only lost this game by that many or more 1 time in the last 10 years. They’ll probably lose, but they’ll keep it within 17. Vols.
Cincinnati +15 ½ at Ohio State: On the brink of October, and Cincy still hasn’t played 3 games, but Gunner Kiel has thrown 10 touchdown passes and nearly 700 yards. Ho hum. Now he goes on the road to a completely different animal and the Buckeyes….who followed up the shocking loss to the Hokies by demolishing Kent State 66-0. Ohio State is currently #3 in pass defense, but they’ve not really played anyone who is a proficient passing team, and Navy doesn’t throw it at all.
At the end of the day, I simply haven’t been impressed with Ohio State any time that I’ve watched them, although I missed the Kent State game. I feel like this one is a dogfight. Gimme Cincy and the points.
Duke +7 at Miami: We’re getting down to the seeds and stems here folks, so bear with me. Miami is 2-2, Duke is 4-0. What evil magic is this!?!? Rivers and seas boiling! The dead rising from the grave! Dogs and cats, living together….MASS HYSTERIA!
Bottom line is simply that Duke is the better football team right now, and Miami just isn’t that good. When in the annals of human history have you been able to say that? Duke is balanced on offense, rushing for 262 and passing for 231 per game. They are good enough on defense. They are miles better at quarterback, where Miami is still looking for answers. They have enough playmakers, and Al Golden still can’t get it done against a team with a winning record. Dookies.
Baylor -21 at Iowa State: I think we all can guess that Baylor is the better squad, right? They are winning their games right now in an average score of 59-9. That score would probably be lower, but I’m guessing that Baylor got the mascot some experience after going up 35-0 over Buffalo on their way to winning 63-21. The Bears won this game last year 71-7. That’s more than a 21 point spread. I think if the spread were 55 points, I’d pick Iowa State….but three touchdowns isn’t enough. Baylor.
Good Luck all.
"I think it's a little late in the season."
"For lunch?"
"No, pissing on birds."
Alright sports fans....here it is, Wednesday afternoon, and I have worked, and I've slaved, and what thanks do I get!?!?! Here's the list....do your worst. Please. I need to catch up.
Thursday Night Games:
UCLA -5 ½ at Arizona State: A tale of two injured quarterbacks as it is questionable as to the health of both signal callers for this Thursday night blockbuster. It looks like Hundley has been upgraded to probable, but Taylor Kelly is listed as out. Obviously, that seems to seriously hurt the debbils as Kelly was 42 for 68 for 625 yards and 6 touchdowns so far this year. 0 picks. The Sun Devils do boast a decent rushing attack, 11th in the nation averaging over 300 yards a game. UCLA has been good, not great against the run.
On the other side, UCLA is thanking the football gods for their 20-17 escape from Texas a little over a week ago. Getting Hundley back will be huge for them.
An interesting side note…Arizona State’s next 6 games are UCLA, at USC, Stanford, at Washington, Utah, and Notre Dame. Yeesh. Bruins too much for the Devils without Kelly.
Texas Tech +13 ½ at Oklahoma State: The last time we saw Texas Tech, they were quietly surrendering over 400 rushing yards while being paddled by the Razorbacks. As I noted in my statement regarding that game, the Red Raiders are susceptible to the run, and…well, they were. Now they go and visit the Cowboys, who are 2-1 and ranked with their only defeat coming in a spirited game with Florida State. Walsh is out for the Cowboys, which hurts. But they beat the hell out of UTSA, which is a decent football team. The backup, Daxx Garman, was 16-30 for 315 and 2 touchdowns. The Pokes even ran for 162.
I just think the Raiders are no better than mediocre and Oklahoma State is a solid team. Tyreke Hill is a speedy stud, and Oklahoma State is at home. The ½ point is enough to sell me. Cowboys.
Saturday Games:
Missouri +6 at South Carolina: Well, Indiana pretty much took a great big dump all over this game, but luckily for the Tigers, this week’s slate is so extraordinarily weak as to render it appropriately on the list. Let’s be honest, the SEC East is now barely hanging on by its fingernails to the quality in the west to be able to participate in that whole circle-jerk-SEC-we’re-the-greatest-thing-since-sliced-bread deal. Missouri surrendered a staggering 493 yards of offense to Indiana. And it isn’t even like the Hoosiers threw it all over Columbia. They ran for 241 and passed for 252! It seems like it is pretty rare when an underdog can come into your house and simply run a balanced offense and kick your butt up and down the field. I don’t know, maybe the Tigers were looking ahead to this game.
And then there’s South Carolina, who fell behind 14-0 to Vandy before coming back to win 48-34. But a look through those numbers show that Vandy had not 1, but 2 kickoffs returned for touchdowns, and their final touchdown was thrown by the backup in the waning seconds.
Going to Wallace-Brice, and given the wheelbarrow full of yards they gave up last week…I think Carolina is ready to play and is improving each week. Gamecocks.
Arkansas +9 ½ at Texas A&M: Well lads and ladies, after doing the first three games last evening and just getting back to the office now, I’m running up too close to the deadline to be to wordy about all of this…so you’ll just have to deal with it.
I’ve gone back and forth on this game, which is actually at a neutral site, I think. Yeah, we know A&M’s offense is legit, and they’re scoring a truckload against everyone. But, at the same time, Arkansas might give them trouble on the defensive side. Sometimes, the best defense to a great offense is to keep their asses on the sidelines. Arkansas has the ability to do that. They pound the ball, run the clock, control the game. But at the same time, I still look back to the Carolina game and think A&M is too good. I think Arkansas keeps it respectable…the half point makes the difference here. Aggies.
Minnesota +11 1/2 at Michigan: I put this game up there because Michigan is teetering on the brink of complete disaster. They are 2-2, and it boils down to this…the two teams with a pulse they’ve played, they’ve gotten the shit beaten out of them. The two teams without a pulse…easy wins. Where does Minnesota fall? Truth is, I ain’t sure. The only team with a pulse they’ve played, they got run out of the stadium against TCU. Granted, 5 turnovers didn’t help, and I like to think that the Gophers are good enough on offense to cover. Minnehaha.
Colorado +13 ½ at California: Every year, we have a team that completes a Hail Mary to win the game. This happened to Cal last weekend, only they were on the wrong end of one as Arizona scored 36 points in the final quarter to win the freakin’ game. How demoralizing is that? Now they have to try to regroup and put it together against a Colorado squad that has half as many wins so far this year as they did all of last year, and looks to be improved, especially on offense. Cal’s defense is…well….Cal’s defense. Number 94 so far this year, number 124 last year, number 95 the year before that. I’d take the over, which is at 67, except we aren’t playing that game. I guess it boils down to who plays better defense, and I’m going to guess the Bears at home to bounce back.
Oregon State +9 at USC: The Beavers are 3-0 so far this year after playing basically no one, but finds their first real test in the Coliseum against the rubbers of Southern Cal. The Trojans have had a week to stew over the Boston College debacle, and now they face Sean Mannion and that Beaver attack. One stat that can’t be overlooked….the Trojans surrendered a whopping 452 yards to Boston College…on the ground! The downside is that ain’t what the Beavers do. Ranking 91st in rushing offense, they live and die by the arm of Mannion. You really can’t get a sense of how good USC is defending the pass, as the teams they played have been either overmatched (Fresno State), or primarily running teams (Stanford, BC). You gotta think though with 2 weeks to prepare and ready to make statement against Oregon State that they aren’t out of this thing yet. I’ll take the Trojans and give up the 9.
North Carolina +14 at Clemson: This game might ordinarily get shitcanned due to how bad both of these teams played last weekend, but it is for that very reason that they’re up on the list. North Carolina surrendered 70 points (yes…7-0, seventy….one more than 69) in a loss to East Carolina. Just a smidge under 800 yards too. And the Tar Heels had eyes on a coastal championship this year and were allegedly improved. Clemson pulled a Clemson in leaving a handful of points on the field and lost a game they probably should have won against Florida State. The silver lining for Clemson is that even though they’re 1-2, there aren’t too many obstacles preventing them from being 9-2 going into their game against the Gamecocks in late November (a road trip to Chestnut Hill looks more daunting now though). Add to that the fact that Deshaun Watson is the main guy now, and he looked very poised in a tough environment. I think Clemson bounced back here and runs away from North Carolina…who is reeling. They rally behind the new quarterback and get it done. Clemson.
Tennessee +17 at Georgia: Betwixt the hedges, the Volunteers are looking for a win to go 3-1 and win their SEC opener for the first time since 2004. That is a very long stretch. The Vols didn’t play particularly badly against Oklahoma, but still didn’t have the horses to compete, and lost by 24 after being 20 point dogs. Now they’re playing Georgia, and they’re 17 point dogs. I don’t expect Tennessee to win this game…but Tennessee has only lost this game by that many or more 1 time in the last 10 years. They’ll probably lose, but they’ll keep it within 17. Vols.
Cincinnati +15 ½ at Ohio State: On the brink of October, and Cincy still hasn’t played 3 games, but Gunner Kiel has thrown 10 touchdown passes and nearly 700 yards. Ho hum. Now he goes on the road to a completely different animal and the Buckeyes….who followed up the shocking loss to the Hokies by demolishing Kent State 66-0. Ohio State is currently #3 in pass defense, but they’ve not really played anyone who is a proficient passing team, and Navy doesn’t throw it at all.
At the end of the day, I simply haven’t been impressed with Ohio State any time that I’ve watched them, although I missed the Kent State game. I feel like this one is a dogfight. Gimme Cincy and the points.
Duke +7 at Miami: We’re getting down to the seeds and stems here folks, so bear with me. Miami is 2-2, Duke is 4-0. What evil magic is this!?!? Rivers and seas boiling! The dead rising from the grave! Dogs and cats, living together….MASS HYSTERIA!
Bottom line is simply that Duke is the better football team right now, and Miami just isn’t that good. When in the annals of human history have you been able to say that? Duke is balanced on offense, rushing for 262 and passing for 231 per game. They are good enough on defense. They are miles better at quarterback, where Miami is still looking for answers. They have enough playmakers, and Al Golden still can’t get it done against a team with a winning record. Dookies.
Baylor -21 at Iowa State: I think we all can guess that Baylor is the better squad, right? They are winning their games right now in an average score of 59-9. That score would probably be lower, but I’m guessing that Baylor got the mascot some experience after going up 35-0 over Buffalo on their way to winning 63-21. The Bears won this game last year 71-7. That’s more than a 21 point spread. I think if the spread were 55 points, I’d pick Iowa State….but three touchdowns isn’t enough. Baylor.
Good Luck all.
?? here boy, here boy, fetch me the points......good boy!!!! Baylor
Jack Nicholson made a great Devil 
